sudden

i suddenly wanted to take out my dislike and sadness. and then i thought of this blog. yes. may blog pala ako. fourth blog since highschool.

first - facebook blog(2003)
second - livejournal (2005 or 2006)
third - multiply (2006 or 2007)
fourth - blogspot (2008)


AND WHY AM I POSTING HERE AGAIN?

my blog posts reflect how emotional of a person i am. i am overly sensitive especially of what people will say or think of me to the point that sometimes i get paranoid if it is me that they are talking about.

i made my twitter account so that I will have a "rant page". 140 characters of whatever's on my mind.

last month, i read a tweet from a friend regarding something that "might be" pertaining to me. i am an over-analyzer, so when i read that tweet, i immediately felt sad. i have no guts to ask if that tweet was really for me.

another one like this happened to another friend, which again, i just ignored. however, last night, i again "tweet-ed" what i was feeling. the friend "tweet-ed" something in response to my tweet but not addressed to me but with a hashtag which indirectly pertains to me and another tweet with sort-of correcting or clarifying a word i used in my tweet.

i do not have a problem with that friend. its just that it made me really sad last night to the point that i thought of deactivating my twitter account. it is as if my supposed-to-be 'rant page' should be filtered since i know that everytime i tweet something, the friend might react again and that will make me sad again.

two things:
1.) i have no issue or whatsoever with the friend. i am not angry. friend may unfollow me if he/she likes to, that's his/her choice
2.) i hate that with just these simple things, i easily get sad.

since then, i have been asking myself and my bestfriends as to why am i like this? why am i overly sensitive and overly emotional. it has been a disadvantage eversince. i learned from school that our amygdala (part of the brain) is responsible for the emotions of people. i even posted a facebook status if i can have my amygdala taken. HAHA.

i do not question how the Lord has made me. however, i often wonder why am i like this, how i became like this.

anyway, having known how emotional i am, my every blog is full of feelings. blogging is online diary-ing (at least for me).

so now, since i think i will lessen random tweeting, i might as well use this blog again.

i pray for this little brain structure not do its job so i wont care so much.

i hate being like this, with these un-fussable(no such word) things, i get sad. duh! babaw ko. kainis.

that's about it. I still need to study for Neuroanatomy.

i am not making any sense here, but hey, this is my blog so i can post whatever i want.


Marra.
Thanks.
Love and Peace.